Day 195: What Wound Did Ever Heal By But Degrees?

Editor’s Note: Welcome to another installment of Dear Life! Bisi provides us a glimpse at the physical, mental and emotional challenges of taking a risk on a dream. She hopes her real-life experiences will inspire others to take risks.

Dear Life,

I’m on the up and up! My finger’s healing and I’ve been better at managing my reset button. I even played in the Club 7’s National Tournament, where my team placed third. It was not what we as a team wanted and it was not what I wanted personally, but it was a step forward in my journey.

The 7s season ended just in time for the 15s season to start two days later…

Day 145Let me take a minute to explain what I’m referring to when I say 7s and 15s. For those of you that aren’t really up on your rugby facts, here is a very, very minimalist explanation. 7s and 15s are versions of rugby in the same way that singles and doubles are versions of tennis. If you need visual associations, 15s is the dredging-through-the-blood-sweat-and-tears kind of rugby that was likely* portrayed in the movie Invictus. (*I say likely because I didn’t see the movie, so I don’t know if they had the stereotypical scrum scene, but trust me I know enough about the history behind the real-life story to know that they were playing 15s.) 7s is the flashier, higher scoring, very reminiscent of ESPN’s Top-Plays kind of rugby. 7s is what I like to call “me-appropriate” because it plays to my strengths of speed and (lackof) size.

Great, we’re all on the same page.

… and coming off of 7’s, you’d think I would have been in peak shape to start the 15s season. I wasn’t. After the separate injuries and illnesses, it was difficult getting in strength conditioning and at one point fitness. (I was on a course of antibiotics that prevented me from jogging, much less running, without the world spinning and my face and the floor promptly making each other’s acquaintance.)

So in the back of my mind, I’ve been stressing and worrying about 15s season, where I already feel at a disadvantage because of my size. The physical demands of 15s is about 10 times that of 7s, therefore my physical fitness and strength needed to be better and they need to be better quickly.

Remember last time, when I briefly mentioned that I have a problem asking for help?

Well for the first time ever—ok, so maybe not ever—, I asked for help and I asked for help from a stranger at that! (Family and friends that might as well be family—you know who you are—please don’t be mad. I love you all dearly. That is all.)

Now, we’ve all been taught numerous times about stranger-danger, but there’s something about asking for help from a stranger that makes it less intimidating, less vulnerable and personally, feels like less of a potential strain on a relationship or friendship.

Now before you all go running outside to ask the nearest stranger for help reaching a goal, a few words of advice:

1)     Stranger-danger is real. There are strangers that you meet through friends or common-interest groups. Then there are strangers like Michael Myers. Use your better sense of judgment.
2)     Listen. Really take the time to get to know what someone else’s passions, interests, and goals are. Why?
3)     Because if your interests and goals align in a symbiotic way, it’s perfect! Put yourself out there and see if by asking to help them, they can help you in the process.
4)     Don’t be afraid to be a guinea pig. You never know, you might just be the first person to be the success story for the next big thing!


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This is exactly what I did. I took the time to talk to a stranger during a rugby gathering. I learned about their singular passion of helping others get fit,
which uniquely aligned with my goal of getting into tip-top shop as soon as possible. The light bulb went off and just like that I have a new member in my corner, hoping to help me get to where I want to be because as they put, “[My] success is [their] success.”

One final thing: to ask for help, one doesn’t have to ask a stranger. Remember that while asking for help may make you feel vulnerable and weak, what it’s really saying is that you’re realistic, smart and resourceful enough to know that a helping hand will benefit all involved.

‘Til next time!


Author: Bisi Ibrahim

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